i'm not okay

Suddenly, I dont know why?
Why? oh Why?
WHY?

I've observed that life is getting harder day by day.
I'd figure peoples life, i saw the happiness on them but
who the hell know what was the inside? their feeling?
What do they feel? All my friends kept saying that
im like the happiest girl in the world, for like never
being moody nor depressed or whatsoever,
but who the hell knows whats was inside my heart?
sister? She's great. Even how hard im trying to hide
from her she'll know everything. But as a lil sister and
as a friends i dont wanna burden any one of my beloved .
But im still human rite? When i did cried or told them
something, so that means i really need their support.
By this time, as long as i can hide , i will hide it.
Sometimes i love to see people around me who i think
has a great life, they got what they want , they achive what
they dreams on, they love people who they really love.
I just wonder why cant i be in that way?
Maybe luck was not with me yet, but then i did feel ahh forget it.
I feel so down and so depressed, Why? I dont wanna have this
feeling and i hate it. I must try my hard to throw it away.
Its okay, Allah is always there for me anyway? hurm,
There was nowhere to hide, i Think.
Ignorance? is so my new bestfriend.
Pleasee ALLAH help me,